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WH40K – Where Bleak Becomes Funny.

Forget the promise of progress and understanding, for in the grim dark future there is only war. There is no peace amongst the stars, only an eternity of carnage and slaughter, and the laughter of thirsting gods.

– Grimdark Hams

It’s been years since my last post – a lot has happened in life, and time just slipped by, but recent events in the world has made me want to write about my interests again, and I thought I might start on a lighter note: The Warhammer 40,000 universe is the worst of all possible worlds, and we’re not there*.

*yet.

The number of books, games, and who knows what has been made in the 40k universe could fill my blog and then some, so I’ll keep this uncharacteristically brief.

I recently switched my daily driver computer to Linux because Microsoft – you know, the company that really hates being called Microslop and wishes people would stop saying Microslop. It really annoys them when people say Microslop, so we should maybe stop saying Microslop. We wouldn’t want to hurt their feelings. The feelings that are hurt if we say Microslop.

Click here to read the microslop story on windowslatest.com

…where was I? Oh yes. I switched to Linux because frankly I have about as much use for Copilot in my notepad, clunky 100-click menus, and ads in everything as I have use for a stun gun applied directly to my nutsack. If that’s your idea of a good time, then I’m not here to yuck your yum, but it isn’t my cup of tea.

So, what does this have to do with Warhammer you might be asking yourself, and the answer is that I saw Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine 2 go on sale on steam the other day and decided this was the time to invest a few bucks in it, being quite cheap by now compared to it’s new release sticker price. For the uninitiated, it’s basically a game where you play as sentient testosterone, slashing bugs to death with a chainsaw.

Ultrasmurfs begging for the sweet release of death, or possibly paint thinner.

I bought it, downloaded and installed it, launched it, and started the game. So far so good. Then I took about seven steps and the game froze. Less good. A quick duckduckgo lead me to a forum thread that explained that I should make sure drivers are updated, make sure I’m using the experimental proton layer, and one more thing.. oh yeah – trick the game into thinking my desktop computer is actually a steam deck. For some reason that worked just fine.

In the intro mission you’re this 7ft+ tall guy in thick metal armor, probably all in all weighing at least half a ton or more, doing that red bull stratosphere jump but without a parachute, and you just get back up, dust yourself off, and carve your way through the jungle to *checks notes* detonate a WMD, a virus bomb in the atmosphere. The same people that laud this will start frothing at the mouth and shouting incomprehensibly if they see a female character that they personally wouldn’t jerk off to, and try to hide it behind realism.

“Chat, are we cooked?”

These are probably the same people who enjoy playing BG3 with the “anti woke” mod pack, and Withers big naturals mod just to be on the safe side.

So, current events. With the Americans deciding to let Donald Trump back into power, he decided to kidnap the venezuelan president, threatened to annex greenland and depleted their tomahawk missile stock on Iranian schoolgirls – a move true republicans like John McCain wouldn’t supp-

McCain Sings "Bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iran"
-ort.. Well, this is awkward.

Well, it made me want to think of something lighter and brighter, like a sci-fi world where bdsm elves might turn you into living furniture or perhaps some whimsical inquisitor decides your entire planet is unfit, and condemns it to be stripped of life.

Sourced from https://www.reddit.com/r/Warhammer40k/comments/109yeke/krieg_on_garden_world/

Hopefully I’ll feel like writing before another four years have passed. Perhaps I’ll recount some of what’s happened in the meanwhile.

Buckethead

Buckethead - One of the best, most emotional versions of Soothsayer Live @ Gothic 9-28-2012
Soothsayer, performed live. Starts at roughly 25 seconds in.

The story of the guitar virtuoso known as Buckethead is that of a robot raised in a chicken coop – by chickens – wearing an expressionless white Mike Myers-esque horror mask concealing circuit boards and severe chicken scratches.

In memory of his fallen chicken-family fried for food, he dons the KFC bucket as a hat, and plays some of the most mind-blowing guitar play you’re ever going to experience.

A Beginner's Guide to Buckethead
A beginner’s guide to Buckethead

This guy is easily one of – if not the – best guitarist(s) in history. He was lead guitarist for Guns ‘n Roses back in the early 2000s, but decided it wasn’t for him. Instead, he decided to do smaller and more informal gigs on his own, and I can’t even begin to say how much I respect that. It shows he’s not about the money. He’s got plenty, but is focused on doing what he loves, rather than what will rake in even more cash.

Buckethead with Claypool Bernie Worrell and Brain
Buckethead with Claypool Bernie Worrell and Brain

A highly experimental and extremely prolific artist, Buckethead has produced 314 studio albums, spanning various styles, genres and string instruments. He can play sentimental, tender melodies dedicated to close family members, and he can play faster, heavier stuff on the other end of the scale. The man is most definitely a master of his craft.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1sYbbk2yN0o
Buckethead – Siege Engine (album version)

Sam O’Nella Academy

A while back I was on a youtube-binge, and I stumbled across the Sam O’Nella Academy. Quite a large channel, and it’s a small wonder I hadn’t heard of it sooner than I did.

Concept

The channel features hilarious stick figure drawings, while the content creator gives an introduction to a topic, usually some strange or often outright bizarre piece of history or science. He’s a fantastic joke writer, and packs his animations with a lot of personality. The guy definitely understands comedic timing, and that less can be more if you do it right.

Topics

Sam O’Nella Academy has videos on a variety of topics. Here’s a video about pre-industrial surgeries, definitely one of my favorites from this channel.

Pre-Industrial Surgeries
Sam O’Nella Academy – Pre-Industrial Surgeries

Other great example topics are Tarrare – the Frenchman with an extreme appetite, Why being a pirate used to suck, Fidel Castros weird fixation on dairy, and Diogenes – the Greek cynic philosopher who lived on the street.

Definitely worth checking out this channel.

SsethTzeentach reviews SS13

Space Station 13 – Best game ever made?

Space Station 13 Review | AHELP: Clown Grief Pls Ban He™
SsethTzeentach reviews Space Station 13

This game is so delightfully absurd, barely even limited by the collective imagination of it’s players. It may be the best game ever made, as Sseth illustrates in this video, which I strongly recommend checking out. I have very little to add to this, except to say: this youtuber is well known for his dark sense of humor, so this isn’t necessarily for everyone. It is however, spot on for me.

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